Everyday is a new day, every month is a new month, every season is a new season... so what makes a new year so special? I guess what I'm trying to say is why should we limit ourselves to self-reformation only once a year? So many people jump on the bandwagon of New Year's Resolutions every year but fall off within the first month or so. Yes, it helps that during New Years everyone is free, there is a lot of time that can be dedicated to self-reflection, but at the same time what kind of living is living without self-reflection? So what are we doing the rest of the year? Just getting by? Just surviving?
A good friend of mine loves a particular Jonathan Swift quote: "May you live every day of your life." I've found that that quote has become a memorial and a stronghold on which I can continually draw motivation from.
How can we be ok with just getting by? It's just a depressing way to live! Sometimes you can't help it in cases like depression and bouts of self-pity, sometimes its easier just to give into it than struggle against it; but in those times it's important to not give up on hope, to not give into it permanently!
Everyday is a new day. Make tomorrow better than today; a whole year is such a big burden and such a large task. Just like with other goals and ambitions, the difficulty downsizes with the downsizing of a goal. So break it down into smaller chunks, do it month by month, week by week, or even day by day. Make it manageable and it will be manageable!
So happy New Day's Eve!
- JerBear
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
The Curious Case of Christian Death
One of my favorite movies is the film, The Curious Case of
Benjamin Button. Why? The script is superb, thin but powerful, and realistic.
The film takes you and throws you into a confusing, fantastic, yet very real
world of the life of Benjamin Button and his legacy. For all of you who haven't
seen the film it is probably best that you don't read past this point.
Hopefully this brief description has motivated you to watch it though. Then if
you still feel like it you could come back to this and read what I have to say
in my critique.
I've decided I'm going to write this critique in a
particular form, the exploration of select quotes from the film.
Benjamin: "It's a funny thing about comin' home. Looks
the same, smells the same, feels the same. You'll realize what's changed is
you. "
I'm starting with this quote because it's one that really
hit home with me this time around watching the movie. It's Winter Break and I'm
home for Christmas and the New Year. But things were different, my room was
pretty much as I had left it even though someone had been living in it for the
majority of the time I was gone away at school, the bathroom too, no new
furniture, same food smells, same water quality, etc. My family was generally
the same... but I had changed. I changed a lot this semester and perhaps that's
why I noticed my changes more than those of my parents and sister. This quote
makes a very interesting and very true observation on three levels: 1.
Everyone's constantly changing 2. Especially those who are younger in age and
still maturing 3. It tends to be delayed but it's easier to realize the changes
within ones self rather than those in others. Which brings me to the next
quote.
Daisy: "What's it like growing younger?"
Benjamin: "Can't really say, I'm always looking out of
my own eyes."
It's very hard to look at your life from an objective
outside perspective. You're stuck in your own shoes most of your life and on
very rare occasions somehow find yourself in someone else's. We as limited
beings can only go so far outside ourselves and this film also explores this
idea with the relationship between Benjamin and Daisy.
Benjamin: "You know, you might've got a few more years
out, but you chose to do something so special and unique... that's... there was
only a short window of time you could do it... So even if nothing ever
happened, you'd still be right here where you are now..."
Daisy: "I just don't like getting old... They put too
much chlorine in here."
In this scene, Benjamin walks into the pool area where Daisy
is swimming laps. He sees her catching her breath, and watching younger women
swim laps with little effort, she starts to cry. Benjamin knows exactly what is
going through her mind even though she doesn't want to admit it. Age is a big
focus area in the lives of Daisy and Benjamin because even though they want to
be together, the difference in aging process poses a big problem.
Daisy: "I'm so glad we didn't find each other when I
was 26."
Benjamin: "Why would you say that?"
Daisy: "I was so young!... and you were so old! It happened
when it was supposed to happen."
Benjamin: "Hey, I will enjoy each and every moment I
have with you"
Daisy: "Will you still love me when my skin grows old
and saggy?"
Benjamin: "Will you still love me when I have acne?
When I wet the bed? When I'm afraid of what's under the stairs?"
Benjamin: "I was thinking how nothing lasts... and what
a shame that is."
Daisy: "Some things last."
There are points in their interactions where Benjamin is
just quiet and takes pause. He understands the importance of single moment in
time. He realizes how necessary it is to sometimes just take a moment to drink
life in... He recognizes the fluidity of life and how fleeting a day let alone
an hour of time can be.
Benjamin: "And mortality was a common visitor to our
house. People came and went. Death was so frequent, I was never afraid of it.
You could hear when someone left us, there was a silence in the
house."
Benjamin Button: "What if I told you that I wasn't
gettin' older, I was gettin' younger than everybody else?"
Mrs. Maple: "Well, I'd feel very sorry for you...to have to see everybody you love, die before you do. That's an an awful responsibility."
Benjamin Button: [narrating] "I had never thought about life or death that way before."
Mrs. Maple: "Benjamin... We're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us."
Mrs. Maple: "Well, I'd feel very sorry for you...to have to see everybody you love, die before you do. That's an an awful responsibility."
Benjamin Button: [narrating] "I had never thought about life or death that way before."
Mrs. Maple: "Benjamin... We're meant to lose the people we love. How else would we know how important they are to us."
He not only grew up in a house where "death was a
frequent visitor" but went to war and saw the tragedies that had befallen
many men he didn't know and some he knew rather well. The lesson he learns from
Mrs. Maple is a lesson on great wisdom, wisdom that only comes from the
experience of death. It's the same as the idiom, you don't know what you've got
till it's gone, but hits home harder with anyone who has experienced the death
of a loved one. Through interactions like this, through experiencing deaths of
many people important to him, Benjamin develops a very different philosophy on
death than what most people ever do. He grew up thinking he would die at any
moment, grew up watching his earliest friends growing old and dying, saw death
in inconceivable numbers at war, and by the time he finally got to
his prime lost his mother.
Benjamin: "You can be as mad as a mad dog at the
way things went. You could swear, curse the fates, but when it comes to the
end, you have to let go."
He realized that fighting death, avoiding it, being scared
of it in the end had no meaning because everyone is faced with the task of
accepting death and it's finality. I found this very interesting because at
first I thought it only had applicability for atheists, because most
religions have some sort of view on death, some sort of comforting perspective
of death or at least a noble idea attached to it. But even for Christians who
have the promise of heaven, a paradise beyond all imagination (with no hurt, no
pain, no suffering, no tears, no strife, no conflict, just joy, love, peace,
happiness, etc) have trouble with death; most of us are still unreasonably
scared of death despite what we believe to be true and promised to us. And
again it brings us back to the inability to extend ourselves very far out of
ourselves. It is hard, because of the way we are naturally made, to trust
others, we already barely trust ourselves. It takes some real effort to trust
yourself, to then trust someone else, and then trust an invisible being. As
Christians, when it's over for us, instead of letting go of our need to trust
in something completely, we let go of everything we trust in except for God.
Perhaps if you're blessed, you'll find a way to trust in Him only at a single
point in your life, but I would think it'd be very rare. One of the main things
we strive for as Christians is the ability to let go of everything else and
just trust in God alone; so obviously this would be a task meant for the end of
our lives. This is against our incomplete and flawed nature! We work on it to
the end, once we get there God tells us that we're ready; till then it is
something for us to strive for, a reason for living, along with the goal to be
used in God's will and plan, along with the finding and fulfilling of a need
and desire to bring God glory as we were intended to.
There are many truthful observations in the film's script...
but I found there is a necessary step to be taken before looking at it and
taking it in, as a Christian. Christians are called to discern, to be in the
world but not of it, so that crucial step is one back... a step away from it to
look at it through the lens of scripture. Calvin College would probably approve
of this blog post haha. Anyway, the point is that there is much to be learned
from looking critically at this film. I think in a way this is not only a
public call to discernment of films but a self-call to be more active in
looking at films in terms of script, production, direction, acting, and more.
I hope you enjoyed this or learned something from it and
that you feel free to comment and/or reply to this with any critique of your
own of the film or of my critique. :]
Have a good day!
- JerBear
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Christmas time?
Hey everybody!
It's Christmas eve today... it sure doesn't feel like it though. And I'm sure many across the US agree with me on that this year. This winter has been rather warm for a lot of areas in the country and so even places in Michigan aren't going to have a white Christmas this year. For some reason this has been a topic that's been bouncing around me head. See, my house is not decorated as much this year, was not decorated till two days ago, and doesn't have a Christmas tree up. The feeling is just off... but lately I've been finding that the feeling, though important and helpful at times... is not the main factor in Christmas... or anything for that matter. It's the decision one makes; in this case, the decision to celebrate the birth of Christ, the decision to spend the celebratory time with loved ones, and the decision to make it a special time.
So all of you out there who have been finding it hard to make it feel like Christmas... stop trying to feel it and just choose Christmas over whatever else this time could be for you.
I hope you all have a wonderfully joyful Christmas! :D
- JerBear
It's Christmas eve today... it sure doesn't feel like it though. And I'm sure many across the US agree with me on that this year. This winter has been rather warm for a lot of areas in the country and so even places in Michigan aren't going to have a white Christmas this year. For some reason this has been a topic that's been bouncing around me head. See, my house is not decorated as much this year, was not decorated till two days ago, and doesn't have a Christmas tree up. The feeling is just off... but lately I've been finding that the feeling, though important and helpful at times... is not the main factor in Christmas... or anything for that matter. It's the decision one makes; in this case, the decision to celebrate the birth of Christ, the decision to spend the celebratory time with loved ones, and the decision to make it a special time.
So all of you out there who have been finding it hard to make it feel like Christmas... stop trying to feel it and just choose Christmas over whatever else this time could be for you.
I hope you all have a wonderfully joyful Christmas! :D
- JerBear
Monday, December 19, 2011
It's break! Time to party?... or not?
Salut!
It's finally Christmas break for me... and part of me doesn't want it. Now, I know that seems like a strange thing with how much I detest school work and how much I like the comfort of a home, but it makes a lot of sense to me at the moment.
I'm finding I have a lot of time on my hands that I end up just wasting... and when that time is wasted I just complain. I've been finding that I don't like all the hustle and bustle of a house full of people... perhaps I've gotten too used to living with a relaxed roommate and even more so suitemate in the dorms this year. I have been messy, all over the place, and easy-going when it comes to my personal stuff/space/room this past semester. It's been like my refuge from my attempt at organizing my life, school work, etc... and so coming back home, perhaps I was expecting the same thing...
Turns out back home there are more people and even though none of them are living in my room, they all care more about its neatness. I've been back for one night and my parents have tried to "help" me organize my stuff... the little bit that I actually brought home. My sister got back tonight, and though I love her, she has a need to organize the bathroom that I lack. It's just the little things, you know?
My dad for some reason insists on me doing everything within my power to test his new "toy" a wireless server for our printer... all the while I'm trying to talk to people, work on this blog, and do other things I had hoped to get done today. I don't even have anything to print!
Ok, ranting is done and out of the way. Now, praise and thanksgiving are in order.
I'm so thankful for the semester being over! It was stressing me out terribly... I have not felt as free as I had when I finished my last exam in a very long time! I'm also very thankful for my CAS 190 group members, who without, I would not have been able to get a 97 on the final project. I also praise the Lord for so many great newer friendships and renewed friendships in the last two weeks or so of the semester and particularly for one friend who has been exactly who I need at this time in my life. I thank Him also for the many personal struggles that He has brought me through in the last month and a bit. I am grateful for all the blessings and amenities that I have in my life... too much to even list or count. The more I think about it the more sick I am of it, but I also know that I need to appreciate what God has given me and not just complain and refuse it (something I learned from a friend :] ). I look back at old blog posts and think back to further back times in my life and realize how it's all still just building up to something: there's a waveform of sorts but it seems like either the frequency is increasing or the amplitude is... I can't tell. Maybe a little bit of both. :]
No matter what, however, I plan to make this break as good as it can be; and perhaps in order to do that I need to avoid partying hardy and just plain relaxation. I'm not entirely sure what God has in mind for me, but I know that he'll provide the peace I need and the break I so desperately need.
So for now, bonne nuit et au revoir!
- JerBear
Oh! I forgot to mention, I'm totally finally learning french and loving it! :]
It's finally Christmas break for me... and part of me doesn't want it. Now, I know that seems like a strange thing with how much I detest school work and how much I like the comfort of a home, but it makes a lot of sense to me at the moment.
I'm finding I have a lot of time on my hands that I end up just wasting... and when that time is wasted I just complain. I've been finding that I don't like all the hustle and bustle of a house full of people... perhaps I've gotten too used to living with a relaxed roommate and even more so suitemate in the dorms this year. I have been messy, all over the place, and easy-going when it comes to my personal stuff/space/room this past semester. It's been like my refuge from my attempt at organizing my life, school work, etc... and so coming back home, perhaps I was expecting the same thing...
Turns out back home there are more people and even though none of them are living in my room, they all care more about its neatness. I've been back for one night and my parents have tried to "help" me organize my stuff... the little bit that I actually brought home. My sister got back tonight, and though I love her, she has a need to organize the bathroom that I lack. It's just the little things, you know?
My dad for some reason insists on me doing everything within my power to test his new "toy" a wireless server for our printer... all the while I'm trying to talk to people, work on this blog, and do other things I had hoped to get done today. I don't even have anything to print!
Ok, ranting is done and out of the way. Now, praise and thanksgiving are in order.
I'm so thankful for the semester being over! It was stressing me out terribly... I have not felt as free as I had when I finished my last exam in a very long time! I'm also very thankful for my CAS 190 group members, who without, I would not have been able to get a 97 on the final project. I also praise the Lord for so many great newer friendships and renewed friendships in the last two weeks or so of the semester and particularly for one friend who has been exactly who I need at this time in my life. I thank Him also for the many personal struggles that He has brought me through in the last month and a bit. I am grateful for all the blessings and amenities that I have in my life... too much to even list or count. The more I think about it the more sick I am of it, but I also know that I need to appreciate what God has given me and not just complain and refuse it (something I learned from a friend :] ). I look back at old blog posts and think back to further back times in my life and realize how it's all still just building up to something: there's a waveform of sorts but it seems like either the frequency is increasing or the amplitude is... I can't tell. Maybe a little bit of both. :]
No matter what, however, I plan to make this break as good as it can be; and perhaps in order to do that I need to avoid partying hardy and just plain relaxation. I'm not entirely sure what God has in mind for me, but I know that he'll provide the peace I need and the break I so desperately need.
So for now, bonne nuit et au revoir!
- JerBear
Oh! I forgot to mention, I'm totally finally learning french and loving it! :]
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Contentment is such a good thing
I'm really content right now. God has shown me so much love and grace in the last few weeks. I haven't felt so relaxed, tired, but alive all at once in so long. This can obviously only be by God's grace. I don't deserve it but He knows my every need and knows exactly when to supply it. Just this little blurb for now. :D
Thursday, November 3, 2011
So I've decided I need to start blogging again.......
So, what's going on in my life........ huh. I guess I would have to talk about my sleep troubles. By sleep troubles I don't even mean something like sleep apnea or narcolepsy or anything remotely serious. It's sadly just a result of my lack of a sleep schedule. I've missed soooo many classes this semester and why? Sleeping through my phone alarm. -.-
Now, its not that I can't wake up to my alarms; I actually normally wake up to my first alarm but the trouble is getting up. See, I'm a rather short fellow, not miniscule but shorter than average. So what does my below par height have anything to do with my inability to get up in the morning in time for class? Well, you see... when you are only about 5'4" and you have to get off your bed in the morning that is about 6 or 7 feet up off the ground there are a couple problems for the barely conscious Jerry Chen. In my state of scarce consciousness, I cannot bring myself to jump down from my bed to the floor or step down to the back of my chair which is at best going to be dangerous if it just so happens not to be supported by anything. So, to solve my predicament I have moved my mattress down to the floor. I will be making a cave for myself over my mattress with my furniture. The only concern now is that I might have a major bruise on my forehead during the first few days.
In other Jerry news. I punched through a window with my bare fist... not completely on purpose but there was definitely some intent involved... and definitely a lot of pride induced lol. Now I have a sweet scar forming on my index finger and a scab from a deep cut over my middle finger knuckle. I'll share the gory details and funny bits about this story in my next post.
What? I need something to get you to read my next post. :p
Sayonara
So, what's going on in my life........ huh. I guess I would have to talk about my sleep troubles. By sleep troubles I don't even mean something like sleep apnea or narcolepsy or anything remotely serious. It's sadly just a result of my lack of a sleep schedule. I've missed soooo many classes this semester and why? Sleeping through my phone alarm. -.-
Now, its not that I can't wake up to my alarms; I actually normally wake up to my first alarm but the trouble is getting up. See, I'm a rather short fellow, not miniscule but shorter than average. So what does my below par height have anything to do with my inability to get up in the morning in time for class? Well, you see... when you are only about 5'4" and you have to get off your bed in the morning that is about 6 or 7 feet up off the ground there are a couple problems for the barely conscious Jerry Chen. In my state of scarce consciousness, I cannot bring myself to jump down from my bed to the floor or step down to the back of my chair which is at best going to be dangerous if it just so happens not to be supported by anything. So, to solve my predicament I have moved my mattress down to the floor. I will be making a cave for myself over my mattress with my furniture. The only concern now is that I might have a major bruise on my forehead during the first few days.
In other Jerry news. I punched through a window with my bare fist... not completely on purpose but there was definitely some intent involved... and definitely a lot of pride induced lol. Now I have a sweet scar forming on my index finger and a scab from a deep cut over my middle finger knuckle. I'll share the gory details and funny bits about this story in my next post.
What? I need something to get you to read my next post. :p
Sayonara
Thursday, October 13, 2011
Blogging!
So, cool thing! I'll be blogging every two weeks for Calvin! :] and getting a little money on the side but anywho. Hopefully this will motivate me to blog more often on this ole thing :p
This is strangely exciting for me, I think mainly because my sister did a similar thing for Covenant College :]
I'll probably double post them on here as well! So expect some newer posts soon!
This is strangely exciting for me, I think mainly because my sister did a similar thing for Covenant College :]
I'll probably double post them on here as well! So expect some newer posts soon!
Friday, July 22, 2011
Contest Entry cause I can't think of anywhere else to post this.
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| My Photo Entry for Photojojo's daily Twitter photo contest. Title: "Life is more fun with Mirrors" |
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Cutco is Sharp!
I am typing with one hand because my pinky finger got gashed up nice and deep and now has matching stitches... sooo... yeah lol great stuff... never use it in a moving car though...
- Jer Bear with a messed up pinky :/
- Jer Bear with a messed up pinky :/
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Kinda feeling like this lately again...
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1004590830759&set=a.1413080962757.2048375.1104510146&type=1&theater
This was a drawing I made a couple years ago... It really described how I felt then but I think now it is even more applicable...
I feel like from every which way there is advice on how I should live my life and desires for all sorts of various things pulling me in different directions... and I realize that most of it is for my good but some of it conflicts with other bits on different levels...
It's just kinda stressful to be thinking about it... and thus I have a couple options.
1. I ignore it all and do w/e the heck I want.
Can't do that. (morals, standards, idk)
2. I ignore most of it and pick and choose what I feel is most important or what I want more.
Makes me feel selfish and disrespectful.
3. I look at it all and see what is at the core of all of it and follow that.
Requires a lot of time, thinking, effort, etc... essentially a hassle. (maybe not worth all that time+effort)
4. I attempt to follow it all and try rediculously hard to balance it all and attempt to ignore any conflicts.
Lots and lots of stress.
5. I ask for some help.
I feel like I have no control over anything or like I'm not doing anything.
I'm not entirely sure what to choose... right now I guess I want to be able to do 4 and feel like I ought to do 3 and probably in reality need to do 5. But I think right now I'm just doing a mixture of 1 and 2.
So when does my stress-free summer break begin? *sigh*
Hope y'all are doing better than I am
- Jer Bear
This was a drawing I made a couple years ago... It really described how I felt then but I think now it is even more applicable...
I feel like from every which way there is advice on how I should live my life and desires for all sorts of various things pulling me in different directions... and I realize that most of it is for my good but some of it conflicts with other bits on different levels...
It's just kinda stressful to be thinking about it... and thus I have a couple options.
1. I ignore it all and do w/e the heck I want.
Can't do that. (morals, standards, idk)
2. I ignore most of it and pick and choose what I feel is most important or what I want more.
Makes me feel selfish and disrespectful.
3. I look at it all and see what is at the core of all of it and follow that.
Requires a lot of time, thinking, effort, etc... essentially a hassle. (maybe not worth all that time+effort)
4. I attempt to follow it all and try rediculously hard to balance it all and attempt to ignore any conflicts.
Lots and lots of stress.
5. I ask for some help.
I feel like I have no control over anything or like I'm not doing anything.
I'm not entirely sure what to choose... right now I guess I want to be able to do 4 and feel like I ought to do 3 and probably in reality need to do 5. But I think right now I'm just doing a mixture of 1 and 2.
So when does my stress-free summer break begin? *sigh*
Hope y'all are doing better than I am
- Jer Bear
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
X-Men and more...
X-Men: First Class was AWESOME! :]
As they always have, Marvel has once again entertained and delighted me with one of their movies.
Not only that, but tonight, hanging with friends was pretty awesome itself! Definitely gonna do more of that this summer hahaha. Makes me really want to reconsider my work status... I need to find a better job (less erratic and time-consuming) :/
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Fixed Computer!
I have finally fixed my computer! Got a used laptop of the same model and just added my harddrive and swapped my screen bezel/holder :p. Looks pretty decent if I may say so myself!
Anywho now I got two hard drives so that's kinda cool. :]
On another note... work is crazy... Vector Marketing, at least the East Orlando Office, is hardcore. lol This summer I really got my work cut out for me.
This is a really short post... I'm going to fill some space for no reason....
yup...
yup lol
yeah...
ok good enough!
Time to sleep I think...
- JerBear
Anywho now I got two hard drives so that's kinda cool. :]
On another note... work is crazy... Vector Marketing, at least the East Orlando Office, is hardcore. lol This summer I really got my work cut out for me.
This is a really short post... I'm going to fill some space for no reason....
yup...
yup lol
yeah...
ok good enough!
Time to sleep I think...
- JerBear
Monday, May 30, 2011
This summer is finally starting to pickup a bit!
Hey all!
I am officially a sales rep for Cutco! I am super psyched about puttin on demos for people and finding the products that will best suit them and their family's needs. :]
Anywho! I am back from the annual Florida Chinese Christian Retreat at Lake Yale and am feeling like this summer might be exactly what I need.
This year wasn't the best Lake Yale Retreat and I actually didn't agree with a lot of things that I saw and experienced. This at first was really troubling but after thinking very long and deeply meditating on my discomfort I think I have come to understand myself and my background as a Chinese Christian in America in a much deeper and satisfying way than ever before.
I think also what I have gotten from this year's retreat is the urgency and necessity of integrating my faith into the secular regions of my life but not the other way around. I think I have taken my academics in one sense too seriously and in another not seriously enough. In the first sense, I have put too much emphasis and focus on the Christian Perspective academics so that I now have attempted to fully combine it with my faith which has lead my spiritual life into too strong of an intellectual realm rather than a faith based one. In the second sense, I have not been serious enough with my academics as my calling from God and I seem to have somewhat lost faith in His promises and thus lost the motivation to do my best for God and His glory. I have not been keeping up well with my side of this Covenant and think just maybe this summer is about this.
I think God right now mainly is trying to teach me to love other people at all times and not only when I can force the actions or when I like them. I think he is trying to teach me to see past any perceived faults of my fellow Christians and how to truly love them and myself for what is evidential of God's glory and to deal with the faults in a much better, Christ-like manner.
God has really thrown me for a mental, emotional, and spiritual loop but I now can more confidently trust that it is part of his crazy plan for me.
Thanks for reading this if you did!
Blog to you all again soon!
- JerBear
I am officially a sales rep for Cutco! I am super psyched about puttin on demos for people and finding the products that will best suit them and their family's needs. :]
Anywho! I am back from the annual Florida Chinese Christian Retreat at Lake Yale and am feeling like this summer might be exactly what I need.
This year wasn't the best Lake Yale Retreat and I actually didn't agree with a lot of things that I saw and experienced. This at first was really troubling but after thinking very long and deeply meditating on my discomfort I think I have come to understand myself and my background as a Chinese Christian in America in a much deeper and satisfying way than ever before.
I think also what I have gotten from this year's retreat is the urgency and necessity of integrating my faith into the secular regions of my life but not the other way around. I think I have taken my academics in one sense too seriously and in another not seriously enough. In the first sense, I have put too much emphasis and focus on the Christian Perspective academics so that I now have attempted to fully combine it with my faith which has lead my spiritual life into too strong of an intellectual realm rather than a faith based one. In the second sense, I have not been serious enough with my academics as my calling from God and I seem to have somewhat lost faith in His promises and thus lost the motivation to do my best for God and His glory. I have not been keeping up well with my side of this Covenant and think just maybe this summer is about this.
I think God right now mainly is trying to teach me to love other people at all times and not only when I can force the actions or when I like them. I think he is trying to teach me to see past any perceived faults of my fellow Christians and how to truly love them and myself for what is evidential of God's glory and to deal with the faults in a much better, Christ-like manner.
God has really thrown me for a mental, emotional, and spiritual loop but I now can more confidently trust that it is part of his crazy plan for me.
Thanks for reading this if you did!
Blog to you all again soon!
- JerBear
Monday, May 23, 2011
Mundane...
Hi there!
Life feels sorta mundane at home... I have some stuff to do and responsibilities around the house... I'm looking for jobs and such... hanging out with friends but all the same it's just kinda off.
I've decided on getting a cheap used Inspiron 1545 instead of getting a nice new, high powered laptop... less exciting but more affordable and makes me feel less guilty about my parents paying since it was my fault my laptop broke...
I've been filling my time with random movies I can find online... and sleeping lol
Definitely wish I had my guitar :/... or my mic... or a laptop of my own...
Yup, this blog is pretty much just a time filler... not that I don't care about all 1 of my loyal followers :p.
Anywho... I really want to finally get my laptop situation all figured out so I can start working more with my photography again!...
Till later I guess...
(Running out of languages and feeling a bit lazy)
Bye!
Life feels sorta mundane at home... I have some stuff to do and responsibilities around the house... I'm looking for jobs and such... hanging out with friends but all the same it's just kinda off.
I've decided on getting a cheap used Inspiron 1545 instead of getting a nice new, high powered laptop... less exciting but more affordable and makes me feel less guilty about my parents paying since it was my fault my laptop broke...
I've been filling my time with random movies I can find online... and sleeping lol
Definitely wish I had my guitar :/... or my mic... or a laptop of my own...
Yup, this blog is pretty much just a time filler... not that I don't care about all 1 of my loyal followers :p.
Anywho... I really want to finally get my laptop situation all figured out so I can start working more with my photography again!...
Till later I guess...
(Running out of languages and feeling a bit lazy)
Bye!
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
It's so strange...
After a year of basically living here at Calvin... it's legitimately weird for me to go home... I have only been home one time this whole school year since September and that one time was only for 3 weeks. I spent Thanksgiving here... I spent spring break at Covenant and so it wasn't like going home at all... Honestly... my dorm room and building has truly become my home and I will miss it a lot over the summer.
I'm thinking about all this because tomorrow is my last full day before I leave to go back down to Florida and the last day of my Freshman year... It's been pretty crazy... pretty fun... had its ups and downs... it's been an awesome year and I can't wait for next year! I will miss my friends here a lot over the summer... the dorm is like a really really large family (of course some people are a little more distant but there's still a large group of people you get to know pretty well)... which is something that I've never had before. Essentially this is a thank you to everyone who has made this year what it has turned out to be!
So...
Thank you! Arigato! Xie xie! Gracias! Merci! Grazie! Mahalo! Komapsumnida! Siyabonga!
Duizendmaal Dank! (for all you Dutch people lol)
Farewell! Gokigen yo! Yi lu ping an! Buen viaje! Bon voyage! Buon viaggio! Ke Akua pu a hui kaua! Jalda nyeoo sip sio! Ube nohambo oluhle! Goede reis!
- JerBear
P.S.If you're wondering where I find the different language expressions (other than from my noodle)
I use http://omniglot.com/
I'm thinking about all this because tomorrow is my last full day before I leave to go back down to Florida and the last day of my Freshman year... It's been pretty crazy... pretty fun... had its ups and downs... it's been an awesome year and I can't wait for next year! I will miss my friends here a lot over the summer... the dorm is like a really really large family (of course some people are a little more distant but there's still a large group of people you get to know pretty well)... which is something that I've never had before. Essentially this is a thank you to everyone who has made this year what it has turned out to be!
So...
Thank you! Arigato! Xie xie! Gracias! Merci! Grazie! Mahalo! Komapsumnida! Siyabonga!
Duizendmaal Dank! (for all you Dutch people lol)
Farewell! Gokigen yo! Yi lu ping an! Buen viaje! Bon voyage! Buon viaggio! Ke Akua pu a hui kaua! Jalda nyeoo sip sio! Ube nohambo oluhle! Goede reis!
- JerBear
P.S.If you're wondering where I find the different language expressions (other than from my noodle)
I use http://omniglot.com/
Monday, May 16, 2011
Tired of the week
Bonjour!
The "Tired" of the week is...
Also... I'm tired of this week lol...
Slept 2 hours in a chair last night! That was fun :p and then took a monster nap from like 4-9!... But I'm still really dazed and kinda groggy I guess... Anywho
haha this is a fun site: http://www.allrandomfacts.com/
The mother flamingo's milk is red.
I feel like I would have been scarred as a flamingo baby...
"Mommy? Why are you bleeding?"
"Shhh... just drink it"
"No! No!" *forced to drink* "Ahh!--... mmmmm... blood"
Mandarin duck couples stop liking each other after their nest is built.
It's like a couple that never fights till they move in together. Glad to see we aren't the only messed up ones.
Ok... well I have to study for a 9 AM final... mmmm
Alrighty then... till next time!
Au revoir!
The "Tired" of the week is...
Also... I'm tired of this week lol...
Slept 2 hours in a chair last night! That was fun :p and then took a monster nap from like 4-9!... But I'm still really dazed and kinda groggy I guess... Anywho
haha this is a fun site: http://www.allrandomfacts.com/
The mother flamingo's milk is red.
I feel like I would have been scarred as a flamingo baby...
"Mommy? Why are you bleeding?"
"Shhh... just drink it"
"No! No!" *forced to drink* "Ahh!--... mmmmm... blood"
Mandarin duck couples stop liking each other after their nest is built.
It's like a couple that never fights till they move in together. Glad to see we aren't the only messed up ones.
Ok... well I have to study for a 9 AM final... mmmm
Alrighty then... till next time!
Au revoir!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
So... crazy idea for the dorms?
Konnichiwa!
Ok, so Calvin's dorms have small computer labs and in each one of those computer labs there is one printer for the dorm. Now, I don't want to be rude or insulting to Calvin's system... but it sucks! I am down here quite a lot now a days, with my laptop broken and all, and I see people printing things all the time... or not printing. Half of the time the paper is completely gone and so people can't print unless they have a friend who has their own printer paper in their room. Paper can be acquired from the dorm deskie but the desk is closed after 12 on most days. Another issue with printing is the lack of printer toner (ink essentially). This one toner cartridge is i think the second we have had this semester... but with the amount of paper and printing we go through, it should be well on to its third, especially by now. The toner cartridge lacks the ink to print out one single sheet of the standard double-spaced essay/assignment/paper. The toner needs to be shaken after almost every 1 or 2 print queues.
Now for my crazy suggestion... Seeing as we ran out of paper at the desk at one point last week or the week before and seeing as the Dorm Tech is either unavailable or just ignoring us for some reason. I believe the cabinet that is in every computer lab should be stocked with back up toner(one cartridge at a time) and a couple stacks of printer paper. That's reasonable right? Well here is the REALLY crazy part... how about we give a copy of the key to that cabinet to perhaps the desk? or even crazier perhaps create a new volunteer/dorm position of dorm student technician? That way when things start failing and students are getting frustrated by technical issues(over not being able to print out their term papers and other important documents) there will be a tech in the dorm at almost all times to help out with these issues.
In summary... I am tired of having to shake the toner 20 times a day... it's unnecessary and can be avoided/prevented. I'm tired of going up stairs every day or two to supply friends with paper when it's not their fault at all. It's just kinda annoying. That is all.
Ja mata ne!
Ok, so Calvin's dorms have small computer labs and in each one of those computer labs there is one printer for the dorm. Now, I don't want to be rude or insulting to Calvin's system... but it sucks! I am down here quite a lot now a days, with my laptop broken and all, and I see people printing things all the time... or not printing. Half of the time the paper is completely gone and so people can't print unless they have a friend who has their own printer paper in their room. Paper can be acquired from the dorm deskie but the desk is closed after 12 on most days. Another issue with printing is the lack of printer toner (ink essentially). This one toner cartridge is i think the second we have had this semester... but with the amount of paper and printing we go through, it should be well on to its third, especially by now. The toner cartridge lacks the ink to print out one single sheet of the standard double-spaced essay/assignment/paper. The toner needs to be shaken after almost every 1 or 2 print queues.
Now for my crazy suggestion... Seeing as we ran out of paper at the desk at one point last week or the week before and seeing as the Dorm Tech is either unavailable or just ignoring us for some reason. I believe the cabinet that is in every computer lab should be stocked with back up toner(one cartridge at a time) and a couple stacks of printer paper. That's reasonable right? Well here is the REALLY crazy part... how about we give a copy of the key to that cabinet to perhaps the desk? or even crazier perhaps create a new volunteer/dorm position of dorm student technician? That way when things start failing and students are getting frustrated by technical issues(over not being able to print out their term papers and other important documents) there will be a tech in the dorm at almost all times to help out with these issues.
In summary... I am tired of having to shake the toner 20 times a day... it's unnecessary and can be avoided/prevented. I'm tired of going up stairs every day or two to supply friends with paper when it's not their fault at all. It's just kinda annoying. That is all.
Ja mata ne!
Friday, May 13, 2011
It is as hot as...... Florida (Originally for 5/12)
(Blogger wasn't working yesterday and so that is why this is being posted right now)
Yeah, didn't go with any obscenity hahaha.
Hola mis amigos,
It is as you may have gathered really hot today. It was kinda warm and breezy yesterday at about maybe low to mid 70s but today is absolutely ridiculous... It actually feels like I'm back in Florida! It's in the low 80s outside right now and there was a crazy Thunderstorm last night meaning it is both really hot and humid outside... exactly what I left Florida for lol.
On another note... I am really hungry... and I really don't want to study or pack... Procrastination is on my mind haha.
On an actual other note... So many sequels coming out this summer(starting next week)! What do you guys think? Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Hangover Part 2, X-Men: First Class, Cars 2, and Transformers(3): Dark of the Moon. Crazy line up this summer in terms of sequels. So to start off:
Pirates 4? Depp is no doubt going to be awesome. Some people say it might be a little too cliche with the Fountain of Youth and Black Beard... but I think not. I the Fountain and Black Beard are so essential to pirates tales and the time of exploration that I think it is the most suitable next adventure for Jack Sparrow. However I think perhaps Pirates should considered wrapping up the franchise with this movie. Or at the very least stop making large scale films for it. Also Penelope Cruz and mermaids? Hot or not? I'd have to say hot... as in I like the idea of having an almost femme fatale like heroine (Penelope Cruz... duh) and the interesting connection between mermaids and the Fountain. Plus, if they can pull off having Davy Jones being a humanoid octopus I think mermaids are acceptable lol. Trailer looks pretty good but it is a trailer. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809791042/trailer
Kung Fu Panda 2? I don't quite know about this one. Po was pretty epically powerful and awesome at the end of the first movie... It seems best to end it there. The new movie has a new villain that is apparently unstoppable and plans to take over China and destroy Kung Fu using some sort of secret weapon. Plus Po is the freakin Dragon warrior isnt he? Shouldn't he be able to defeat this villain easily? but on the other hand there was a nice little middle short movie and I did enjoy that so who knows... maybe the sequel will work out. The trailer is funny enough; there are bound to be some funny bits in there so at least it will be funny. As funny as the first? maybe not... we'll find out soon enough. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810090593/trailer.
And finally The Hangover Part 2? I just watched The Hangover a couple nights ago... More funny than I thought it would be haha. I'm honestly not entirely sure what I think about this sequel. I don't really like the idea of using a wedding as the backdrop setting/situation of the story again... but that's not all that important. What is important is that they have a Capuchin(the species of exotic monkey most popularly used in media; e.i, Ross's monkey Marcel in Friends)! And guess who's back for another probably random appearance? Mr. Chow! Our favorite, probably gay Chinese Gang leader! lol Anywho there are tattoos, buzzed heads, lost Dougs again, lost future little brother-in-laws, martial-artists, old thai men... OH yeah and this is all goin down in Bangkok. lol The trailer is hilarious so who knows... perhaps this will be one of those sequels that beat out the originals... we'll just have to wait and see. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810187722/info.
I'm not going past this on the list only because this post is getting pretty long already(don't want to bore you guys for too long haha), I need to get back to studying and packing and laundry, and it's nearly dinner time and I'm starving! Oh, plus I felt like this was a good stopping point seeing as these are the only three coming out this month.
Alrighty then! Till tomorrow!
Adios!
Yeah, didn't go with any obscenity hahaha.
Hola mis amigos,
It is as you may have gathered really hot today. It was kinda warm and breezy yesterday at about maybe low to mid 70s but today is absolutely ridiculous... It actually feels like I'm back in Florida! It's in the low 80s outside right now and there was a crazy Thunderstorm last night meaning it is both really hot and humid outside... exactly what I left Florida for lol.
On another note... I am really hungry... and I really don't want to study or pack... Procrastination is on my mind haha.
On an actual other note... So many sequels coming out this summer(starting next week)! What do you guys think? Pirates 4: On Stranger Tides, Kung Fu Panda 2, The Hangover Part 2, X-Men: First Class, Cars 2, and Transformers(3): Dark of the Moon. Crazy line up this summer in terms of sequels. So to start off:
Pirates 4? Depp is no doubt going to be awesome. Some people say it might be a little too cliche with the Fountain of Youth and Black Beard... but I think not. I the Fountain and Black Beard are so essential to pirates tales and the time of exploration that I think it is the most suitable next adventure for Jack Sparrow. However I think perhaps Pirates should considered wrapping up the franchise with this movie. Or at the very least stop making large scale films for it. Also Penelope Cruz and mermaids? Hot or not? I'd have to say hot... as in I like the idea of having an almost femme fatale like heroine (Penelope Cruz... duh) and the interesting connection between mermaids and the Fountain. Plus, if they can pull off having Davy Jones being a humanoid octopus I think mermaids are acceptable lol. Trailer looks pretty good but it is a trailer. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1809791042/trailer
Kung Fu Panda 2? I don't quite know about this one. Po was pretty epically powerful and awesome at the end of the first movie... It seems best to end it there. The new movie has a new villain that is apparently unstoppable and plans to take over China and destroy Kung Fu using some sort of secret weapon. Plus Po is the freakin Dragon warrior isnt he? Shouldn't he be able to defeat this villain easily? but on the other hand there was a nice little middle short movie and I did enjoy that so who knows... maybe the sequel will work out. The trailer is funny enough; there are bound to be some funny bits in there so at least it will be funny. As funny as the first? maybe not... we'll find out soon enough. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810090593/trailer.
And finally The Hangover Part 2? I just watched The Hangover a couple nights ago... More funny than I thought it would be haha. I'm honestly not entirely sure what I think about this sequel. I don't really like the idea of using a wedding as the backdrop setting/situation of the story again... but that's not all that important. What is important is that they have a Capuchin(the species of exotic monkey most popularly used in media; e.i, Ross's monkey Marcel in Friends)! And guess who's back for another probably random appearance? Mr. Chow! Our favorite, probably gay Chinese Gang leader! lol Anywho there are tattoos, buzzed heads, lost Dougs again, lost future little brother-in-laws, martial-artists, old thai men... OH yeah and this is all goin down in Bangkok. lol The trailer is hilarious so who knows... perhaps this will be one of those sequels that beat out the originals... we'll just have to wait and see. Watch the Trailer here: http://movies.yahoo.com/movie/1810187722/info.
I'm not going past this on the list only because this post is getting pretty long already(don't want to bore you guys for too long haha), I need to get back to studying and packing and laundry, and it's nearly dinner time and I'm starving! Oh, plus I felt like this was a good stopping point seeing as these are the only three coming out this month.
Alrighty then! Till tomorrow!
Adios!
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Why does it seem like I only post late at night/early in the morning?
Oh... cause I do. lol
Ni hao!
I'm finally finished recording and making the "video" for my cover of "With You" by Chris Brown!
That's really all that I wanted to say haha. But in case you are still curious, head over to my YouTube Channel.
As a little bonus... I recently found out that if you use ink pens and some good hairspray you can make some pretty cool fake tattoos (with the aid of a little drawing skills too of course)! This is what being tired in class does to you haha. I stay awake when I doodle, especially when on my skin. Try it sometime if you get really sleepy in class! Anywho... I better get some sleep...
Till probably later today,
Zai Jian!
Ni hao!
I'm finally finished recording and making the "video" for my cover of "With You" by Chris Brown!
That's really all that I wanted to say haha. But in case you are still curious, head over to my YouTube Channel.
As a little bonus... I recently found out that if you use ink pens and some good hairspray you can make some pretty cool fake tattoos (with the aid of a little drawing skills too of course)! This is what being tired in class does to you haha. I stay awake when I doodle, especially when on my skin. Try it sometime if you get really sleepy in class! Anywho... I better get some sleep...
Till probably later today,
Zai Jian!
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Another Early Morning Post!
Buon giorno amici miei,
Yes, I realize it's late... rather really really early. But I wanted to let the world know that my Web presence has shifted around slightly. Everything is still very new and so similar changes might take place in the near future but I'm almost 95% sure that I like it as it is set up now.
This here is my new homepage(for everything): http://flavors.me/jerryjieleichen
From there you can reach my personal Wix page which is devoted to a more in depth look at who I am. You will also be able to go to my Wix Portfolio for the newly established Quick-as-Thunder Productions. You can also reach my facebook profile from there as well. This blog feed will also be displayed on the site along with my Youtube feed. If it isn't so at the moment, soon, each and every page will have a way to go back to the Flavors page. (eg. on the two Wix pages the Jerry Chen and home graphic on the homepages both send you back)
Ok, now that all the technical explanations are out of the way I wanted to briefly explain why I chose the name Quick-as-Thunder Productions. You see... My middle name is Chinese for fast/adroit/quick thunder(sometimes closely associated with lightning as well) and so I first thought of Fast-as-Lightning but I thought it would be too cliche and corny sounding so I went through the rest and decided to mirror the phrase from the song but use quick (since it is actually closer to the meaning anyways) and thunder (that being the actual word and all). Thus I ended up with Quick-as-Thunder Productions. I'm hoping that in the end I can live up to the connotative reputation that the name puts forth both in terms of it being a parallel of a meme and thus popular and well-liked but also in terms of it's implications of efficiency (something I find I tend to lack in many areas of my life).
Well... until next time I guess!
Ciao!
Yes, I realize it's late... rather really really early. But I wanted to let the world know that my Web presence has shifted around slightly. Everything is still very new and so similar changes might take place in the near future but I'm almost 95% sure that I like it as it is set up now.
This here is my new homepage(for everything): http://flavors.me/jerryjieleichen
From there you can reach my personal Wix page which is devoted to a more in depth look at who I am. You will also be able to go to my Wix Portfolio for the newly established Quick-as-Thunder Productions. You can also reach my facebook profile from there as well. This blog feed will also be displayed on the site along with my Youtube feed. If it isn't so at the moment, soon, each and every page will have a way to go back to the Flavors page. (eg. on the two Wix pages the Jerry Chen and home graphic on the homepages both send you back)
Ok, now that all the technical explanations are out of the way I wanted to briefly explain why I chose the name Quick-as-Thunder Productions. You see... My middle name is Chinese for fast/adroit/quick thunder(sometimes closely associated with lightning as well) and so I first thought of Fast-as-Lightning but I thought it would be too cliche and corny sounding so I went through the rest and decided to mirror the phrase from the song but use quick (since it is actually closer to the meaning anyways) and thunder (that being the actual word and all). Thus I ended up with Quick-as-Thunder Productions. I'm hoping that in the end I can live up to the connotative reputation that the name puts forth both in terms of it being a parallel of a meme and thus popular and well-liked but also in terms of it's implications of efficiency (something I find I tend to lack in many areas of my life).
Well... until next time I guess!
Ciao!
Monday, May 9, 2011
My Philosophy of Photography
Hey Ladies and Gents!
I know I just made a post two and a half hours ago... but I was updating my website and thought to add something to my about me. After I finished writing it I suddenly felt as though it would be a great first serious/real post.
So here we go!
(by the way, the link to my website is somewhere on that side of this blog --->)
My Philosophy of Photography:
As you may notice, from skimming through my Portfolio, almost all of my photos are centered around some sort of Dramatic Focus and there alsp aren't many "Smiley or Corny" posed pictures. I use the term pictures instead of photos or photographs because that's just it; many pictures to me are not photographs in the artistic sense. You may also notice that I take many candid shots. To me, Photography is a way to capture a moment (but not just as a simple memory): to capture the beauty of a moment, not just a plain memory or momento, but instead an interpretation of that moment.
Recently a stranger insisted that I let someone else hold my camera and take pictures of me for once, saying that when I look back it would be nice to have pictures of myself. I did not tell the stranger at the time, but the reason I'd rather not be in pictures is that I rather store my memories in the photographs I take. I relive rather than recall those memories since they are taken and made with my perspective and vision.
I will not refuse taking group shots nor will I prohibit people from smiling, making funny faces, posing, or looking at the camera, but I will take my personal integrity seriously and find the beauty that I see in the moment. I will not just take a picture.
I know I just made a post two and a half hours ago... but I was updating my website and thought to add something to my about me. After I finished writing it I suddenly felt as though it would be a great first serious/real post.
So here we go!
(by the way, the link to my website is somewhere on that side of this blog --->)
My Philosophy of Photography:
As you may notice, from skimming through my Portfolio, almost all of my photos are centered around some sort of Dramatic Focus and there alsp aren't many "Smiley or Corny" posed pictures. I use the term pictures instead of photos or photographs because that's just it; many pictures to me are not photographs in the artistic sense. You may also notice that I take many candid shots. To me, Photography is a way to capture a moment (but not just as a simple memory): to capture the beauty of a moment, not just a plain memory or momento, but instead an interpretation of that moment.
Recently a stranger insisted that I let someone else hold my camera and take pictures of me for once, saying that when I look back it would be nice to have pictures of myself. I did not tell the stranger at the time, but the reason I'd rather not be in pictures is that I rather store my memories in the photographs I take. I relive rather than recall those memories since they are taken and made with my perspective and vision.
I will not refuse taking group shots nor will I prohibit people from smiling, making funny faces, posing, or looking at the camera, but I will take my personal integrity seriously and find the beauty that I see in the moment. I will not just take a picture.
My First POST!
Hey Guys!
Soooo! I just made this blog and finished some preliminary editing and customizing! This is my first legitimate blog post! Cause let's face it... Xanga doesn't quite count when you're a middle-schooler and only use it to try to get some attention to appease the strange mixture of insecurities and arrogant self-absorption that we all tend to face at that point in our lives. Don't even try to deny it! hahaha
Anyways... it is clearly too late for me to be up still... hahaha... not really (those who know my college life would agree)... but I do have a 11:30 class that i do need to eventually get up for. So until tomorrow!
Soooo! I just made this blog and finished some preliminary editing and customizing! This is my first legitimate blog post! Cause let's face it... Xanga doesn't quite count when you're a middle-schooler and only use it to try to get some attention to appease the strange mixture of insecurities and arrogant self-absorption that we all tend to face at that point in our lives. Don't even try to deny it! hahaha
Anyways... it is clearly too late for me to be up still... hahaha... not really (those who know my college life would agree)... but I do have a 11:30 class that i do need to eventually get up for. So until tomorrow!
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