Mutatio and Those Familiar Farewell Feelings

Right now it is 12:07... so only a smidgen past Sunday. Perhaps I'll pretend I'm operating on Chicago time. Anyways as I mentioned last week, I want to be writing these blogs each week, inspired or not, I'll clunk out fun little tidbits of my life onto this electronic cellulose. Well... here goes.

The past few days, but especially today, I've been feeling the familiar farewell blues once again. Leaving for a few months seems like so long now for some reason. I was having a lot of trouble putting my thumb down on the source or the root of this new perspective on my semesters away and I've, through my pondering and self-reflection, narrowed it down to the simple idea of "change". Now I could say it's growing up, or transitions, or seeing friends mature and/or drift away. But in general it's change. There aren't way too many major changes with this one move back up to Grand Rapids. However there are a multitude of changes in the next few years that I sense in my life, and only a few are directly related to me.

I think for so long I had been in one place, Florida, that I had forgotten that things come and go, people go through changes... in personality, interest, location, job, relationship status, and what have you. I had known so many things to be so... stable, back home. I realized that Florida, even though it is no longer where I reside for most of the year, and I normally live over a thousand miles away from, is still my home. It's the place I want to go back to bed and curl up in, the place I want to sit around and laze idly in, it's the place that I long for when things don't make sense... it's also the place that I haven't ever expected to change. I realized or am realizing that after this summer, there is a major shifting point. I am no longer an underclassman, I will need to start looking forward at my future, wherever or whatever that may be, and the things around me are going to begin to change really fast.

I am now fast on the track to adulthood and independence. Along with the bills, the insurance, and all the convoluted mess of financial independence that is awaiting me comes the change in my social network. All of my friends from high school will be well on their way in college, my home church may not be the same and may no longer even be what I identify as my home church, I may be in a completely new surrounding with little or no old friends to reminisce with, things will have changed so much. I am growing up. I now find the hardest part of growing up is not the taking on of new responsibilities... but the letting go of old ones.

We often think of adolescents, teens, etc not having many responsibilities... yet when you really dwell on it, they have many. It is such a narrow view and scope to limit responsibilities to duties, chores, and tasks. Adolescents and teens have some of the hardest responsibilities of all; all of those which fall under social identification and exploration. Teenagers, tweenagers, and whoever else is in that mix all tend to relate on one, almost comical, level. They all think and feel as though their parents and adults don't understand them. And there is some truth, lo and behold, to that shared plight. Where does a lot of this conflict arise from? Different priorities and different responsibilities. Adolescence is the stage of life where we begin to define ourselves, we begin to test and set our boundaries, and we begin to explore who we are as a person. This means also that when it comes to sociability, we are at the height of our curiosity and engagement. It is during this time most people set the tone for their social persona for the rest of their lives, not because they are limited to whatever worked but because they've crossed off most everything that didn't work. They find out what doesn't work by taking on social responsibilities, to friends, to classmates, to teachers, to parents, to many others, and sometimes in a weird way to themselves. These responsibilities become the drive in so many daily decisions, they become the fuel for moving forward.

I'm realizing that those responsibilities, those always there, are going to have to be put a little bit further back on the burner (aka the back burner) or at the very least there will be a shift in the majority or perhaps plurality.

I'm scared of not seeing, hearing from, talking to, hanging with, and laughing with(and sometimes at) people whom I have designated as part of my "home". I know it sounds kind of funny put that way, but there are just some people who I feel like I will always consider part of "home" to me. To realize that my "home" is splitting apart or at least on the verge of doing so, is a frightening thought. And trust me... I'm not scared of much(hey, doesn't mean I can't be startled, that happens often enough). It's interesting looking back at all the memories, especially when a single vivid memory that may be of just one strange, awkward, funny, or serious moment shared with a friend or companion of any kind can be recalled so easily... and yet what I did a week ago is almost completely gone from my mind already.

I feel unprepared for change. However I take comfort in a simple little phrase of wisdom: How can someone be prepared for a surprise and the surprise still be a surprise?

I am finding my peace with it... and searching for the answer to the question that further plagues me. Perhaps that will be a topic in the future, but let the future be the future. For now, sayonara. It's been a long one... thanks for bearing with me.

The A and B sides of Summer life

My friend recently mentioned my blog to me and I suddenly realized that I had stopped blogging again. It seems summer and a change of pace caused it to be completely wiped from my mind. I also realized, now after looking at my recent posts, that I sort of left things suddenly. No concluding thoughts for the year, no musings about my future, no rambles pertaining to anything going on in my life. Thus, I have found it suitable to have sort of a hodgepodge of a post this time around.

Note to anyone reading: I'm hoping I can start doing this as a weekly thing perhaps part of a Sabbath routine. It seems just perfect, seeing as the Sabbath is meant to be a day of rest, reflection on the past week, and re-invigoration for the next.

The end of last semester.
Twas bitter-sweet, the parting from friends, the familiar rooms and halls of NVW, and other things that are oh so important to me. It felt good to be done with a surprisingly tough semester. I found peace in knowing that, even though a lot of responsibilities and burdens faced me in the coming summer, I would have a change of pace and a loving and supportive girlfriend, albeit one that was over 1200 miles away.

Early summer.
I went, with my head high and confident, into this summer, despite a few challenges I knew I would soon be facing. 1) Finding and buying a car. 2) Taking an online college course for the first time, and on top of that in astronomy, an area of science I hadn't even thought about since middle school. 3) Finding housing for the next semester. 4) Keeping up my end of a long distance relationship.
You know what I found out? I was not ready for any of these. It was only through God's grace and providence that I've arrived at this point in such good shape.

Mid summer.
You see. The first part of summer went smoothly, I was keeping up with deals on cars and prices and ranges for several models and years, I was staying on pace in my online course and doing well, and although I cannot say I looked at housing, I at least was pulling my weight in the relationship, sending letters, calling, skypeing, the whole she-bang and it was going well. The second part of summer was completely different.
I soon found myself falling into old messy living habits, acting more immature, and not really taking care of myself, both physically and spiritually. Finding a car became taxing, and the strain was wearing down on my relationship with my father who was unfortunately dragged along to many disappointing car deals. I had started to fall behind on my online Astronomy course and was becoming so engrossed with newly purchased games that I left little time for homework and didn't care all that much either. On top of being behind in Astronomy, because of that fact, I began to miss days of work for catch up which put the tasks I was given behind on schedule as well. I began to think about housing but being so caught up in everything else, I decided that I'd be fine if I just put it off just a little longer. I think my relationship began to fall apart here as well. I stopped sending letters because she had moved to a different house, having been living somewhere else temporarily for the first part of summer; I procrastinated on finding out her new address. Calling became just a habit, the talks became droll and merely consisted of questions about each others' days. An emotional distance began to form and grow, soon even rivaling the physical distance. Soon we realized a fatal overlooking of a crucial factor in relationships. We were no longer in it for the long run, where we were both going was not the same path or direction. We broke up.

The past five and a half weeks.
The past five and a half weeks have been... interesting... at the very least. Perhaps enlightening. Or surprising. Maybe a bit profound. Definitely important. I found a great deal on a car. 2007 Ford Focus with 100,234 miles on it, for a grand total of $4,500(plus a pretty buck or two here and there for some minor fixes and replacements). (This actually happened closer to 6 weeks back) It was right after my father and I had come to an apex of disagreements and miscommunication and were finally forced to face the monster of discontent and tension that had risen up between us. We had learned our lesson and God yet again proved his providence in a surprising, and rather quick transaction. I finished my Astronomy course with a B despite being horribly behind and having to cram 2 weeks worth into the last week along with the final. My professor decided to also show me mercy by not deducting the points that I deserved being deducted for all the late assignments that I turned in. I found some housing and was rushing into a deal with complete strangers, not knowing anything of the house's condition and no one living in it. Until suddenly a good friend of mine called me up one day while I was at work and asked me if I was still looking for housing. How did he know? I had previously let a mutual friend know that I was looking for housing... a couple weeks before the call. I was more than happy to accept his offer, obviously. Not only was it a better deal but I will be living with a friend and two other housemates are acquaintances. Here too I saw God's hand moving and making arrangements. And now for the juicy tidbits on my love life, or lack-there-of to be more exact.
It was tough. Even though it was completely mutual and we both knew it was for the best. It seemed the mutuality and the lack of animosity made it even harder. Knowing that it was the right thing, even though it felt so wrong.... was the hardest thing to accept and reconcile. That was the first week or so. After that I struggled with the fact that I had thought about, worried about, and nearly talked to her consistently every day for more than half a year and all of a sudden that needed to change and in fact had abruptly begun to change. We decided on not talking until we've had reasonable space to move on, for the sake of a future friendship. Recently, thoughts and feelings have begun resurfacing, perhaps this is normal, perhaps I just think too much.

Reflections and b-sides
The wisdom of Francis Chan and his wife Lisa Chan has brought me to the realization that I have not yet come to the point in my relationship with Christ to be ready for marriage, and for me that means I'm going to have to kiss dating goodbye. I realized that if I cannot be fixed upon an eternal relationship and can't put forth the effort and give my all to a perfect and ever-present lover of my soul... how could I dream of beginning to taking up my role in a Christ centered romantic relationship as a man, who is called and mandated to lead and love to the fullest of his extent? How could I ever do that if I can barely follow my holy role model and example?
I realized that all that I had achieved in the past year, becoming more responsible, becoming at least slightly more organized, becoming a bit more diligent. These were not things that came out from within me but were placed in me by my creator and redeemer. It is in His plan how and when he wishes to use these, and by pulling them out of my grasp yet again He has yet again reminded me not only of my powerlessness on my own but also my strength by His side.
I realized I don't like help through the tough times. I don't reach out until it's too much and even then "I never look inward and try not to look upward". I am still relying on my own strength too much and am often times crushed under the weight my overconfidence allows me to pick up.
I realized that I am tired, but that I can awaken anew with the right mindset and goals.

That's all. Hopefully you're still the same age at the end of reading this obscenely long post. Thanks for reading my musings, ramblings, and thoughts. I'll finish off talking about summer next week seeing as it will the my last day of summer in Oviedo and I'll begin looking forward at this impending semester and year.

What exactly have I LENT away?

Lent... is an interesting time of year. Too many people treat it as a mini New Years Resolution... we forget that during this time we are supposed to exercise our willingness to be constantly preparing ourselves for the second coming of Christ our savior.

A big issue is that Lent then becomes too much of a temporary fix for our little addictions and vices. People think that during this time cold turkey is the only way to go. But in actuality it is better for us to actively be willing and wanting for the change not just the surrender.
What do I mean by that?
I mean, we need to not only give up something but want to give it up and be receptive to the change. We need to fight the urge to hate and despise not being able to do what we've given up.

I personally have been struggling with this and yet I've decided that only on Mondays will I be fully exercising my surrendered distraction. I am dreading the coming of Monday... Monday is on my mind every day...
But why only Monday?
Well, as the saying goes: "Everything in moderation!"
 I am giving up something that is in essence a good thing... a very good thing. But I have found, lately, that it has been increasingly harder to resist it and hold back. So I realized that even though it is a good thing, I need to work on finding the moderation, the balancing point and center of gravity in this situation. So by giving it up on Mondays I am hoping to learn how to extend this moderation into my daily living eventually so that after Lent I will have a new found ability and self-control in this area to make every day a little better and more reflective of God's will and presence in me.

Expectations

Expectations… They often times are misleading… no, actually... they are always misleading. We cannot presume the mind of God, nor can we calculate and/or predict the future accurately. What has inspired this spiel of mine is the email notification I received earlier today from Calvin’s Housing Department.

During interim, something had suddenly, in less than a week, rekindled the desire and passion within me to consider applying for an RA position. During freshman year, I had entertained the idea of being an RA junior year. This thought left me as I slipped into the minutia and passively repetitive life style of the regular college student. This year I began exploring the endeavor of living more intentionally, being less fake and dropping my guard and facade a bit. To perhaps pursue relationships with more people, and build deeper and better relationships with them than I would have in the past. This began to stir up grand ideas of working hard on relationships and investing myself in others in the context of a Brotherhood of a dormitory floor and in a lesser extent the dormitory as a whole.

Perhaps these ideas were a bit too fantastic to turn out… and so they fell through.

The email notification that I received is the following generic copy/paste response:

“Dear _________, 

After a thorough review of your application, peer reference, faculty/staff reference, cumulative GPA, and RA reference, we are unable to pursue your candidacy further.  We appreciate the thought and time you invested in the application process thus far.  We had over 150 applications this year, so are not able to offer interviews to all applicants.  If you have questions, please contact your Resident Director. 

We realize the disappointment that this email may bring. However, we encourage you to use your gifts, motivation, and abilities in other areas of service at Calvin—this campus needs your involvement to remain a vibrant community.  If you are living in the halls next year, the CLC application process has begun!  Please check out http://www.calvin.edu/housing/staff-and-student-leaders/ 

I wish you the best this semester, 

“__________” 

Associate Dean of Residence Life” 

Disappointment is an understatement. Bitterness, confusion, frustration and even a little bit of anger are things that this email brought. Here are my thoughts…

1.      The overt, blind, industrialized encouragement of those in leadership positions. I spoke to my RD and many current RAs that I know, including some that I knew personally before their RA-dom. This coupled with the rejection email have caused bitterness to well up within me. It says to me that even though I am apparently not one of the top 30th percentile of the expected applicant populace, those in leadership positions figured it’d be best to encourage me as much as they could, but also perhaps figured it wouldn't be good to realistically call me out on areas that they perceived as perhaps unsuitable qualities for the RA position; for instance, I am not very organized but despite knowing this about me, those in leadership positions encouraged me without being “real” with me. It’s reminiscent of the mindless non-critical encouragement that America, in last few decades, has fed immensely: the “You can do anything you put your mind to, heart in, etc!” type of encouragement.

2.     The encouragement and faith of my close friends gave me hope to fight my naturally negative and pessimistic outlook and perspective. I had truly begun to believe that I would easily make the first cut. I began to expect a fighting chance at the position; a chance to prove myself capable, willing, and ready to take on the responsibility and work past my flaws and personal lacking. I don’t blame my friends. I am thankful for their faith in me and also their surprisingly high level understanding of who I am that I had not expected. What invokes bitterness and frustration (maybe even anger) here is the fact that Housing had decided they “are unable to further pursue [my] candidacy further”. Perhaps it’s just the wording that hurts me the most. Finding themselves “unable to further pursue [my] candidacy” for RA is inherently a false statement. Since when did they pursue my candidacy? My friends did that more than they have. My friends read over my application answers and helped me figure out how to best represent myself truthfully and clearly. What did the housing department do other than put on two RA info sessions? Put the “ad” in student news? The furthest extent of their pursuing my candidacy was the encouragement of my RD… and you already know how I feel about that.

3.      The last but probably most important factor was my expectations. I had let myself begin to assume the mind and will of God.

This isn’t me saying we can’t presume we can understand the general will and character of God… But it is clear in the Bible that we cannot ourselves predict God’s specific and detailed will, we can only receive that. I did not keep this in mind and began to build up myself, my plans, and my expectations upon the presumption that God was calling me to be an RA. I’m not entirely sure why God has prevented me from further pursuing the RA position but I know that it is for a reason. The disappointing fact is that I can’t know just yet what that reason is; I can only wait to find it out ex post facto. I haven’t quite yet accepted this situation yet, I am not at peace about it yet; but I can say that my mind is at least taking steps forward (and past this all) that my emotions cannot yet take.

I’ll write a follow up blog about this upon the advent of any new revelations, happenings, or developments.

- JerBear

p.s. The following are the three questions on the RA application and my submitted responses; feel free to read them if you wish:

What personal traits do you possess which will be helpful to the RA Position?I am a rather sociable person and consider myself to be gregarious when need be. Organization is not one of my stronger suits, but I take leadership roles and responsibilities very seriously. I try my best at my endeavors once I commit myself to them. I love to have fun but I also know how necessary rules and policies are, and even though I may not always agree with every detail I recognize their authority.  I am against breaking and disrespecting them. Another personal trait I see in myself is a desire to involve myself in the lives of my friends and to help or assist them in any way I can. However, I do know it is necessary to respect boundaries and to actively seek the appropriate levels of involvement in different relationships. 

Explain how your Christian faith would be demonstrated in your position if you were an RA:I know that the faith leadership role is that of the Barnabas of the floor but I personally believe the RA of a floor should demonstrate brotherly/sisterly love as a fellow Christian by being involved in the spiritual lives of the other students that live on his/her floor. I would want to be as involved with the floor's Barnabas as much as possible and would try my best to be a spiritual role model and companion to my floor brothers. It seems like a lofty goal, but in my mind it is a goal both necessary and well worth having. A floor should pursue both fellowship and brotherhood (or sisterhood); these should shape the nature and character of the floor, particularly on a spiritual level. 

Explain what you believe is an ideal residence hall environment and how an RA helps to bring this about:I believe the ideal residence hall environment is one in which the residents feel comfortable with each other and feel included and involved with the floor. It is important for a floor to feel a unity akin to brotherhood or sisterhood, so that they can build positive relationships with and among themselves in order to lift each other up both emotionally and spiritually. It is crucial for a floor to have this kind of supportive atmosphere and structure because as young adults, we need not only older and more mature mentors but also peers to lean on for support as we learn how to function as independent adults. The RA of the floor has the responsibility of furthering this type of environment by not only being an active role model, leader, and initiator of such an environment but also by being an active member and participator. A RA can do so by being involved with the other floor and dorm CLC members, events that are planned, and also merely being involved in residents' lives. In order for RA's to do this they must also make themselves very available to their residents in many different areas: emotionally, physically (presence and time), and spiritually.
 

There is much value in Liturgy... but...

Lately I've caught my mind wandering to the existence and practice of liturgies and traditions in the Church. Partly I think because I've been realizing how little I really know about the liturgical calendar and when all the Christian traditional celebrations are. Growing up I had never been part of a church that put a heavy emphasis on following the liturgical calendar strictly... all I really knew of was Christmas, Palm Sunday, Good Friday, and Easter (and Thanksgiving of course).

There is something interesting I've found... Even though the liturgies are set to dates on the Calendar, the liturgical seasons do not quite line up with the Seasons of nature. Honestly, think about advent and Christmas, the coming of new life and a new year; yes it lines up loosely with what is established as the new year date... but if you really just pause to think about it, it is far from lined up with the rebirth of life in nature with the coming of spring.

This thought process got me wondering about what God is telling me in this time of winter being gone but spring being yet to come, this sort of lull, and as well as what winter should mean to us on a deeper level. I mean, what does the season of winter do anyway? It's cold, it kills plant life, it kills many animals; it is all together rather harsh and unlikable. A dear friend of mine complains about the winter weather all the time. And on a certain level I agree with her. However, being thick-skinned and able to endure the cold, I think by sheer exposure and curiosity I have developed a deep fondness for the season. I used to chalk it up to my somewhat masochistic tendencies, or my missing the snow since I had spent the last 10 winters before the last in Florida where snow can only be seen on the coldest night of winter and from the upper levels of city skyscrapers. But looking back, even then I enjoyed every bit of winter I could get. Walking outside in the 30-40 degree weather in Florida's coldest winter nights, or even laying out under my tree star gazing in the same weather.

So then what is it about winter that I love so much? What drives me to go outside for a 20 minute walk in the cold night air when I can't seem to think straight, understand my feelings, or even gather my thoughts? I think, today, I've begun to realize what it is.

Winter reminds me of my utter dependency on, need, and desire for God.

It came upon me while walking around campus this afternoon. I was looking up at the trees and the beautiful silhouetting that they were transformed into by the sun peering barely out and over the edge of a cluster of thick but somewhat translucent clouds. Right then and there I realized I really love the way the trees look during the winter. Why? They're dead and barren, right? There's no green but only brown... and yet I love them? I came to the realization that I loved them for their symbolic meaning.

But what exactly do I mean by their symbolic meaning? I'm going go off on a slight but notably important tangent. Just now I saw a couple and their toddler getting ready to go outside into the chill of winter, so of course the parents need to put the child's outer wear on him. What I saw next was exactly what my soul was searching for to put into words the way which the dead winter trees reminded me of my dependency on God.

The trees are bare in the winter (given the exception of evergreens of course). There was one overpowering image and thought in my head as I looked up at the bare tree branches stretched out toward the beautiful blue and grey sky with the sun just out of reach. Instead of branches I saw hands, I saw thousands and millions of hands reaching up toward the heavens, reaching in hope and waiting for the coming of spring, during which new life will spring forth to clothe them anew with fresh, beautiful, green leaves.

Just like the father putting the toddler's sweater on, with the child reaching his arms up clumsily but humbly in anticipation of being clothed, so too does the sun shine down on the trees, melting away snow while the trees reach up toward the sun, their life giver, and await the clothing of leaves. This is exactly as we are to be before the the Lord in how we present ourselves. Often times we assume we are big kids and ready to clothe ourselves and perhaps we get the clothes on but perhaps we also don't realize the shirt is backwards or the buttons are out of order.

          “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
           “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

 The winter trees and chill remind me of how much I need God. So much of our lives, beyond just clothing and shelter, are in God's hands. So come before Him like a toddler, lifting hands up high like winter tree branches, and be willing to wait in humility for his grace and providence.

- JerBear

Names... and Masculinity

I've been thinking about names today... those of others and my own especially. Jerry... spear ruler... or if you want to pretend it is a shortened version of Jeremiah... God will raise up and set free... JieLei... quick/agile thunder... What does it all mean to me? What does it say about me? I'm starting to see how these names I have don't rightly reflect me and who I am... JerBear my nickname that I have chosen to accept... perhaps fits the best. Now the thing about a bear is that it has many connotations... perhaps the first conjured by my nickname is a teddybear; something huggable, lovable, big, and comforting. But that's not the only side of a bear... a bear also has the ability to rip a man's head of with one swipe of a paw... bears are fierce wild creatures that not only eat berries, honey, plants, and such, but also prey on other animals for sustenance as well. I'm starting to see that in the nickname JerBear there are two things about me that I need to accept... my warm, loving, and caring side... but also my dangerous, wild, fierce, and aggressive side that I tend to shy away from... that I tend to try to hide.

I don't want my goal to be a "nice guy" any longer... I have a friend who posted a status on facebook dreading the fear that he may not be as much of a "good guy greg" as he thought he was... when I read that at first I was sad because I disagreed because I know he is a good guy... but I then realized that the goal in itself was what was wrong, not him... It's important to be good, to be nice, to be caring and loving... but to forsake the danger and wildness of the self in hopes to deny the possibility, the chance, the doubt of strength and dangerous gone bad... That is just disheartening... but so many of us men do it nowadays.

I've been reading the book Wild at Heart by John Eldredge... It's a very good read so far and has guided me to some very important revelations and confirmed some old and recent self-discoveries and has really got me thinking hard about who I am and what it means to be a man. The symbol of masculinity that constantly surfaces in my mind is the famous C.S. Louis line from the Lion Witch and the Wardrobe: "Who said anything about safe? 'Course he isn't safe. But he's good. He's the King, I tell you." This line says so much about Aslan, about God. He isn't safe... He is Dangerous... He is Powerful... He is Fierce, Wild, and along with all that He is Good... I think God calls men to this kind of masculinity... not the war, blood, and violence... sometimes that is involved because of our depravity but they are not the goal, they are not what makes it masculine. It's the combination of danger and wildness with love and righteousness...

Guys out there, I encourage you to read this book if you get the chance. I haven't finished it but I can already see how it is changing the way I see things, think, see myself, etc. and in a good way. :]

- JerBear

New years are inevitable... so what's with all the hubbub?

Everyday is a new day, every month is a new month, every season is a new season... so what makes a new year so special? I guess what I'm trying to say is why should we limit ourselves to self-reformation only once a year? So many people jump on the bandwagon of New Year's Resolutions every year but fall off within the first month or so. Yes, it helps that during New Years everyone is free, there is a lot of time that can be dedicated to self-reflection, but at the same time what kind of living is living without self-reflection? So what are we doing the rest of the year? Just getting by? Just surviving?

A good friend of mine loves a particular Jonathan Swift quote: "May you live every day of your life." I've found that that quote has become a memorial and a stronghold on which I can continually draw motivation from.

How can we be ok with just getting by? It's just a depressing way to live! Sometimes you can't help it in cases like depression and bouts of self-pity, sometimes its easier just to give into it than struggle against it; but in those times it's important to not give up on hope, to not give into it permanently!

Everyday is a new day. Make tomorrow better than today; a whole year is such a big burden and such a large task. Just like with other goals and ambitions, the difficulty downsizes with the downsizing of a goal. So break it down into smaller chunks, do it month by month, week by week, or even day by day. Make it manageable and it will be manageable!

 So happy New Day's Eve!

- JerBear